The Answer To The World's Energy Needs: Liposuctioned Fat By Alan Lord
Tyson Foods Inc. and Syntroleum Corp. are set to announce plans for a $150 million pilot plant that would turn fat from liposuctioned Americans into fuel, The Wall Street Journal Online reported on Monday.
The Tyson and Syntroleum plant, to be built somewhere in the South Central United States, will produce 75 million gallons of obese-fat-based fuel annually, about 5 percent of the output of a typical modern oil refinery, the Journal said.
Increasingly, Morbidly Obese American Fat - or MOAF, as insiders call it - looks to be the choice inexhaustible fuel of the future to replace dwindling crude oil stocks worldwide. It is estimated America holds an inexhaustible reserve of trillions upon trillions of barrels of MOAF, literally sitting on its behind.
A campaign is being planned to promote morbid obesity through high school education programs. Kids are expected to be fed crap, then liposuctioned after graduation. MOAF is the answer to President Bush' hope of one day weaning America away from its dependence on foreign crude. The White House even suggested a slogan: “No Child's Behind Left Behind”.
By Alan Lord