Blair's Next Move: Fuck Up Middle East Peace
LONDON, England - Tony Blair spent his last full day as British prime minister amid mounting speculation that he will be appointed to make sure peace in the Middle East goes nowhere...>>>
Upon Return, Jesus Taken For Pussy Liberal
MACON, GA – Jesus Christ made his grand return Friday but apparently has been taken for a "pussy commie liberal" by most of the townspeople he's encountered. Jesus told reporters that all weekend he wandered around town trying to help those in need of salvation however he was told by countless citizens to "cut [his] f**kin' hair," or "put on some real man's clothes."...>>>
The Answer To The World's Energy Needs: Liposuctioned Fat
Tyson Foods Inc. and Syntroleum Corp. are set to announce plans for a $150 million pilot plant that would turn fat from liposuctioned Americans into fuel, The Wall Street Journal Online reported on Monday....>>>
U.S. Military Reports 75% of Defense Shields Now Eliminated or Disabled
BAGHDAD, Iraq – Although stories of success in Iraq have been few and far between for the U.S. military, General David Petraeus, the head commander on the ground, proudly stated Monday that American forces have successfully destroyed or disabled 75% of the human shields which Al Quaeda could have used...>>>
Opinion: How To Bring Bush To Justice
Look, bringing Bush & Company to justice the traditional way has not worked. Congress won't impeach him, and even with low level people like Scooter Libby, the trials take years if they ever even come to a conclusion. It's like throwing shit at a dry erase board – nothing sticks. (By the way, I'm pretty sure that's how Bush planned the Iraq War.)
My point is we need to find new ways to bring the Bush Crime Family to justice. Luckily for our country, I have some ideas....>>>
