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Gideon's Bible Disturbed By Noises Heard Outside Nightstand Drawer
By Lee Camp
WICHITA, KS - Monday a Gideon's bible was terribly disturbed by the noises it heard outside the Comfort Inn hotel room drawer in which it resides.
The holy book said it lives in the nightstand drawer of room 212 at the hotel and Monday night heard "disgusting, sinful noises and moans along with incessant headboard banging."
The bible fears that the young, nimble couple staying in the room might have been partaking in a decidedly wicked activity. The Gideon's book of scripture said, "It's traumatizing for me to even think about it, but it sounded something like, 'Uh, uh, uh, uh, wow, uh, uh, holy shit, uh, uh, uh, uh, yes!! uh, uh, nope, nope, not there, uh, uh, uh, uh, Lord Almighty!! uh, uh, uh, YES! uh, uh, Whoooooaaaa. …I'm so glad we met today at that Big Lots."
The Gideon's Bible, now a deep shade of red, is still trying to convince itself that what it heard was simply vigorous, overly-enthusiastic prayer.
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