Issue 82, 27th April 2007 
 WORLD NEWS
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As Democrats Gain Popularity, Christian Right Fears Apocalypse Slipping Away
By Lee Camp

WASHINGTON - A large group of Christian Right leaders visited Washington D.C. Monday to relay to the President their fear that the best chance in a generation for worldwide doom is passing them by.
Their worry stems from Bush's continued failure to achieve many of his most despicable goals. Now that he has congress against him, he is appearing unable to dismantle such things as social security, Medicaid and pollution regulations.
The far right were reassured by the all-out chaos in Iraq, seeing it as a good start to bringing about the End of Days. Now, with the Democratic candidates looking good for 2008 they are worried it is all slipping away. Furthermore, a free and fair U.S. election might ruin everything they've worked so hard to achieve.
Pat Robertson, for his part, voiced concern that oil companies are now spending a full one percent of their profits to come up with environmentally friendly fuels. “Anything environmentally friendly does not equal Armageddon,” Robertson pointed out, “So what's the point?”
Aides to George W. Bush say that he was apologetic but has simply run out of steam. Speaking anonymously to BIGfib, a source close to the president admitted, “Yes, it's not looking good. For the first time since he came to power, the president is starting to doubt his own ability to bring about the end days. It's a crisis of belief.”


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