Defiant Iran Boasts Nuke Progress Tehran - In a grand ceremony at its Natanz uranium enrichment plant in central Iran, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced that the country was now able to enrich uranium on an industrial scale, following the recent installation of 3,000 Jews spinning uranium.... >>> Bush Furious Speaker Pelosi Doing Job He Vigorously Neglected Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi traveled to Syria last week and met with various leaders in the region. President Bush responded this week by saying he's furious Pelosi is doing the job he has carefully and thoroughly ignored, namely foreign diplomacy and leadership...>>> Global Warning: New Solution Found London - Telling people how they can reduce global warming by personal example is all the rage these days. But new research indicates that the most effective measure would seem to be the most obvious one: death...>>> Chinese Unveil Lunar Rover To Police Moon Shanghai - Chinese scientists have shown off a prototype Moon rover. The moon rover, christened Xinchiang - The Happy Good Luck Obedient Doggy - was recently tested on Beijing’s Tiananmen Square, where it successfully crushed 2356 out of the 2673 students participating...>>> Hillary Declared Victor In 2008 Election Washington. DC - Since the winner of the US presidential race is always the one who spends the most money, the US Congress has already declared Hillary Clinton the hands-down (or hands out) winner, for being the candidate who raised the most cash so far...>>> Toxic Pet Food Was Meant For Elderly During the three months that contaminated pet food was sold in the United States, there was a 50 percent decrease in kidney failure among old people across retirement communities nationwide. It turns out that the toxic food that poisoned up to 39,000 innocent animals was in fact destined for the elderly... >>> America Declares Victory In Global Eating Contest NEW YORK – The United States chose the floor of the United Nations as the venue to announce its victory in an unannounced planet-wide eating competition. The average super-size fast food meal in the U.S. is actually bigger than the average adult in most third world countries...>>> Weightlifter Retires After Discovering Pulley System Professional weightlifter Kamran Panjavi declared his retirement last week after he says he discovered pulleys that can lift the same objects he does, yet with must less effort... >>>
