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COMMENT |
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BIGfib BOOKS |
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Tanning Booth Employee Tells Herself She's Making A Difference
By Lee Camp
I SCOTCH PLAINS, NJ – Tuesday Chastity Sterling, 25, convinced herself she's making a difference in the world by working at the Sunshine Tanning Center.
She told one customer who didn't ask, "You know the world lacks happiness right now. So I feel I'm helping people get some happiness by toxically coloring their vampire-like translucent skin. You know, if I can get a shallow cheerleader laid because she looks hotter than her best friend, I've done my part. I've contributed a sunshine ray of hope to a lonely world."
Sterling told others that she had considered going into the Peace Corps or working for various political movements but eventually decided she could help more people more quickly at the tanning bed facility.
Furthermore, she wanted to work at a place where she only helped the middle and upper class achieve their artificial dreams, not somewhere where she had to "mingle with weak-minded bottom feeders." Sunshine Tanning Center has afforded her that opportunity. She concluded to herself in the lobby of the tanning center, "You see, most third-world countries already have a wealth of sunshine and blistering heat. They don't know what it's like to be cold and pigmentless. In that way, we are a poor area of the world. I, Chastity Sterling, help provide that cancer-causing resource to those poor human beings who long for it. At least I'll die knowing I did all that I could."
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