50% Of US That Won't Vote Carefully Debates Best '08 Presidential Candidate"
By Lee Camp
The early polls have come in and show that Rudolph Giuliani barely leads Hillary Clinton, John McCain, and Barak Obama among the 50% of U.S. citizens who ultimately won't care enough to vote come election day.
Alisa Manheim, 37, said, "I would never vote for Hillary. I think she's despicable. But I like this Obama guy. He seems like he genuinely cares about America and has a plan for our future. So come election day in November 2008, I'll be most disappointed I didn't vote for him."
When asked why should wouldn't end up voting, she said, "I imagine I'll consider it and then realize that if I go vote, I won't have time to go tanning."
Barrett Heller, 26, declared that he will stab anyone who votes Republican. He yelled, "This world is going down the toilet! Don't you care?! What the f**k?!" Heller went on to say he doubts he'll have time on Election Day to actually vote, but his non-vote is definitely a Democratic one.
