New Sound-Proof Hummer Dampens Noise Of Environmentalists By Lee Camp
Hummer has finally revealed their new model which is designed to nearly eliminate the noise of screaming environmentalists outside the vehicle. Hummer came up with the sound-proof idea after countless Hummer owners complained they were hearing a lot of fuck you's yelled at their vehicle. The new model shields the driver from any fuck you's as well as "Way to destroy the planet!" and "Club any baby seals lately?!"
Furthermore, the new model, tentatively named "Hummer Dick," also comes with tear gas and special tires designed to plow over protesters without collecting blood and brain matter on the treads.
Hummer Dick gets a half mile to the gallon and has a second gas tank, which just sprays gasoline out onto the roadways (similar to the way an alpha male dog pisses all over the neighborhood).
