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Pat Robertson Duped By Allah
By Alan Lord
Claiming God spoke to him, US Televangelist Pat Robertson predicted there would be a terrorist attack that would result in "mass killing" in the United States in late 2007. Pressed for more details, Robertson added that he was told the precise location, date, and time of the next 9/11, including the method (a dirty bomb using Strontium 90) as well as the names of several key Al Qaeda operatives involved in the plot. The supposed target is to be America’s den of decadent debauchery - Las Vegas, Nevada.
Sources in the Middle East revealed however, that the voice Robertson heard wasn’t “God”, but in fact a convincingly-disguised Allah, and that this “divine warning” is merely a diversion to cover the real target of the next Islamo-Wacko attack, which many believe to be Washington, DC.
Officials in Las Vegas are nevertheless preparing for the worst, while many out-of-town revellers don’t seem too worried. Max Norsbaum of Wichita, quipped, “even if a radioactive bomb does go off, who’ll notice the extra glow? I mean, it’s Vegas!”
For his part, Elton John has reportedly commissioned glam pal Karl Lagerfeld to make him a diamond and sequin studded decontamination suit with matching goggles for his nightly Vegas stage show.
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