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Sadrists Clash Violently With Satirists In Iraq
By Lee Camp
SADR CITY, Iraq – Powerful cleric Muqtada al-Sadr and the Sadrist militia he commands faced off with satirists in the heart of Sadr City late Tuesday. Apparently the deadly skirmish started because satirists were handing out to townspeople a parody newsletter entitled The Fodder City News, motto: "You keep dying. We keep lying!"
The main article of this week's Fodder News was "The Muqtada al-Hotter Swimsuit Competition" in which readers were asked to choose the sexiest Sadr City lady. Although the women were in bikinis, the bikinis were overtop their traditional Muslim garb including veil. However, as an equal-opportunity offender, the newsletter also included anti-American articles like, "New US Naked Pyramid Can Be Seen From Space," as well as, "President The Bush Stupider Than Grandma Donkey On al-Marava Day." (Not all of the articles translate well.)
Fodder City News also lampooned al-Sadr and his Sadrist Militia. Making fun of the Sadrists' poor weaponry, one article read, "Sadrists Use New Stronger Rubber Bands, U.S. Soldiers Claim They Smart."
The hilarity ended when twelve members of the Sadrist Militia approached the satirists and called them "hack." Some brief arguing ensued during which the satirists did mocking impersonations of the militiamen, saying things like, "Look at me, I'm a big powerful Sadrist. I protect the Iraqi people by killing my family and friends. Maybe I'll fire my gun into the air some more in order to compensate for my malfunctioning phallus!" The Sadrists then responded with sarcastic gunshots, killing all nine satirists.
Apparently the pen is mightier than the sword but not the Russian-made Kalashnikov assault rifle.
Fodder City News has announced they will print a retraction to their story that the Sadrists only have rubber bands. It is now clear they also have at least one Kalashnikov assault rifle.
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