North Korea Believed To Have Tested First Light Bulb in Secret Underground Facility PYONGYANG, North Korea – Kim Jong-il announced Wednesday that North Korea successfully tested a 60-watt light bulb in a secret underground facility. The test, believed to have been conducted at 8:35 pm, is the first successful use of a light bulb by the country that President Bush considers one of the "Axis of Evil.">>>
Sadrists Clash Violently With Satirists In Iraq SADR CITY, Iraq – Powerful cleric Muqtada al-Sadr and the Sadrist militia he commands faced off with satirists in the heart of Sadr City late Tuesday. Apparently the deadly skirmish started because satirists were handing out to townspeople a parody newsletter entitled The Fodder City News, motto: "You keep dying. We keep lying!">>>
The Redneck Guide To Air Travel As soon as you board your flight, remember CFAA – Check For Any Arabs. Spot where they’re sitting, and make a mental note. Spot where the other ones are, how far they are from each other, and how soon they could join up once the signal is given. Check for any Arab fooling around with his shoes – remember, they always try the same stunt over and over again until they obtain success. They’re not always smart, but they sure are persistent. >>>
Kissinger: Peace With Honor Still Possible In Iraq London - In his acceptance speech thanking Cambridge for the honorary "Professor With a Licence to Kill" title bestowed upon him, Kissinger stated that after a dozen secret meetings held with President Bush, he had come to the conclusion that "Peace With Honor" along the lines of his Vietnam strategy was still possible...>>> Bush said to be experiencing "low cerebral security" The Bush Administration is no longer using the words "hunger" or "hungry" to describe the 35 million people who cannot put food on their table. Instead, this 12% of the population is referred to as experiencing "very low food security." ... >>>
From Lee Camp in New York Professional eating is becoming a big sport here in the U.S. We took something that should be done for survival and we made it a sport, a game! "Let's see who can do it the most." It's supposed to be a matter of survival! So why don't we also have a competition to see who can take the most vaccines? Yeah, let's compete over who can be cured from the most diseases while other countries battle over medicine. Let's see who can waste the most water too! Oh yeah, I forgot we already have wet tee-shirt contests. Close enough. What do you think third world countries would think if they could hear a redneck yelling, "Keep sprayin' her Earl! I can't quite see her nipples yet!!" I can't get over the fact that eating is a sport. And we watch it! We enjoy it! My dad has a giant high definition television. You haven't lived until you've seen the fifty-first hot dog get slammed down Cookie Jarvis' chasm of a gullet!...>>>
