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After DUI Charge, Paris Hilton Insists
She Doesn't Drive Her Own Car
By Lee Camp
LOS ANGELES – Paris Hilton was stopped for driving under the influence Tuesday, and she is now claiming that she's not guilty because she doesn't drive her own car. A publicist for the talentless star put out a statement Thursday, which read, "Paris does not drive her own car just like she doesn't write her own songs, she didn't produce her CD, she doesn't write her own lines on 'The Simple Life,' she doesn't handle her own publicity, she doesn't take care of her dogs, she doesn't think for herself, nor does she pick which acting roles she takes. Recently she's even hired someone to handle her bl**jobs. So what makes anyone think she would drive her own car? I mean, for God's sake, she doesn't even dress herself. Sometimes we have to move her jaw up and down for her because she forgets to chew her food."
On her own behalf, Paris Hilton told journalists outside her mansion, "Heh heh… fbrrrrr." The heiress then fell over, and her handlers dragged her body into a waiting SUV.
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