Issue 72, 9th Sept 2006 
 WORLD NEWS
 BIGfib BOOKS
US Terror Alert Stepped Up To New Highest Level:
Election-Time Purple

By Lee Camp

The US Terror Alert System was increased to a new highest level Monday. It was stepped up to what Homeland Security officials are calling "election-time purple," which is even higher than the previous greatest threat color of "red."
When Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff was asked by a journalist what average citizens should do as a result of the color change, Chertoff said, "With the mid-term elections coming up, everyone should just be very very afraid of terrorism. They should be incredibly scared. They shouldn't trust anyone, including family members. And most importantly they should keep in mind that Republicans keep us safe. And lastly, go vote… unless you're Black. Black people shouldn't vote."

The raised alert comes on the footsteps of an advertisement playing in several states with close elections which depicts many prominent Democrats wearing the color green, the lowest risk color on the Terror Alert color chart. Bill Clinton, John Kerry, John Edwards, and Hilary Clinton are all shown wearing green shirts or ties. At the bottom of the screen throughout the commercial is the sentence, "Do the Democrats even know what color alert the country is at?" At the end of the commercial, a Bill Clinton look-alike is shown saying, "I'm Bill Clinton, and I approve of this message."




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