Issue 72, 9th Sept 2006

Blair & Rumsfeld Step Down, Replace Each Other
By Lee Camp

England's Prime Minister Tony Blair and U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld finally agreed to step down after several months in which millions of people called for their respective resignations due to respective disastrous jobs and approval ratings. However, they will not be retiring. Instead they will simple trade positions; Rumsfeld will become the new Prime Minister and Blair will become the U.S. Secretary of Defense.

The compromise doesn't look like it will appease almost anyone. As one high-ranking U.S. general put it, "The only thing worse than an absolutely inept disingenuous Secretary of Defense is a Goddamn Redcoat inept disingenuous Secretary of Defense."

And as one high-ranking Blair Administration official said, "The only thing worse than an ignorant dishonest Prime Minister is a Yankee ignorant dishonest Prime Minister."
When Rumsfeld was asked why he won't simply retire from government, he explained he and Tony Blair are in the middle of a game of "Who can achieve the lowest approval rating," and it's neck and neck. So the two of them have decided to go into a sudden death round in which they'll switch jobs and the first to a negative approval rating wins.




What do you think?? Tell us your views here!

<<< back