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WORLD NEWS |
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BIGfib BOOKS |
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 President Redefines Torture
By Lee Camp
President Bush redefined torture Thursday. He stated that torture is "being stuck with an ignorant bumbling faux-redneck as your leader for six straight years with two more years to come." And he went on, "Torture is also having smarter heartless criminals behind that leader who are telling him to bomb first and ask questions later and to rig the economy to benefit the top one percent of the population."
Early polling shows that nearly everyone, both civilians and government officials, agree with this definition. Bush's new definition was quite a politically savvy move because if everybody in America has been tortured for the past six years, then the Bush Administration cannot be accused of torturing detainees in Guantanamo Bay. With everyone being tortured, those issues are moot points, or, as the President said in his speech, "mute points."
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