Angelina Jolie To Succeed Kofi Annan As Secretary-General Of The United Nations UNITED NATIONS - Following American ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton’s suggestion that an outsider - and a woman - should be the United Nation’s next secretary general, the predominantly male-dominated general assembly voted unanimously for Angelina Jolie. >>>
United States Announces Israel Is Entitled To Make Entire World Hate It WASHINGTON - When asked whether Israel should stop their missile attacks on Lebanon, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow gave the often-repeated Bush Administration response that "Israel is entitled to make the entire world hate it. She is a sovereign nation and should be allowed to make people despise her. >>> Newly Crowned Miss Universe Faints From Lack Of Brain Oxygen LOS ANGELES, California - Forty minutes into her reign as Miss Universe, Miss Puerto Rico Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza collapsed during a post-pageant news conference and was rushed offstage Sunday night. Pageant officials immediately said the lithe 5-foot-9 18-year-old was all right and had fainted from the sudden depressurization of oxygen that often takes place in the brain when a title is won.>>>
Bush Still Denies Global Warming But Calls Planet 'Extra Sunny' WASHINGTON DC – Although the Bush Administration still denies the existence of global warming, the President did admit Wednesday that the planet has been "extra sunny" and will likely remain so for the foreseeable future. >>>
Seoul - Let Them Eat Missiles Seoul – There may be a shortage of tree bark and grass for North Korea’s population to eat, but thankfully there is no end to the quality and variety of missiles available in the DPRK’s finer eateries. In a latest update to its Northeast Asia Gourmet Guide, Le Guide Michelin has placed a five-star rating on the very tasty Taepodong-2 missile...>>>
The world united Tuesday in condemning the actions of Israel and Hezbollah. It's the first time the world has come to agreement on anything since 1945.
In a show of solidarity against Israel and Hezbollah, millions staged demonstrations across the globe.
At those demonstrations giant banners were raised which read, "Israel And Hezbollah Need To Shut The Fuck Up," or "Here's An Idea – Stop Killing People," or "Can We All Just Go Back To Not Speaking To Each Other??" >>>
