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Californian Governors’ Race To Be Decided By Sprint
by Justine Doody.
Following protests by the Republican Party that the postponement of the Californian Gubernatorial elections would lead to an unfair advantage for the Democrat Governor Grey Davis, the State of California has decided to waive the elections entirely.
Instead, the new Governor of California will be decided by a 100 metre sprint between more than 100 candidates.
A spokesman for the Republican Party denied that the new system would give an advantage to the Republican candidate, Arnold Schwarzenegger, explaining, “Each candidate will be allocated a running mate on a handicap basis.”
However, the spokesman was unable to confirm rumours that the differently able Gary Coleman would be partnered with Schwarzenegger in the forthcoming three-legged race. Coleman himself refused to confirm or deny the reports, telling the press, “Whatchoo talkin bout?”
Schwarzenegger has been informed that he will not be allowed to use a stunt double in the race; however, he has been advised to use one for all major decisions should he become governor.
The State of California has awarded Industrial Light and Magic the rights to any photo finish.
See also : Schwarzenegger a "good governor" says Bush, world reassured
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