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Britney Not Maternally-Challenged, Cmpa Report States
By Alan Lord
Los Angeles – Following a months-long in-depth investigation of both the household and public maternal practices of Britney Spears, The Celebrity Mom Protection Agency of Lower Hollywood Heights declares it has found no cause to worry about a supposed lack in celebrity parental skills.
Weighing in at 230-odd pages, the official report distributed at a poolside press conference to entertainment reporters clearly states that persistent occurences of baby-dropping, near-baby-dropping, no-car-seat or reverse-car-seating are par for the course when it comes to celebrity motherhood, and that singling out poor Britney Spears for special torment in standup comedy routines is “a mean, awful, mean-spirited thing to do".
The cute CMPA report, complete with pictures of SpongeBob Squarepants forks lying on the floor next to electrical outlets, and a Gucci baby stroller parked at the top of a grand ballroom staircase, sports a winking, blushing Smiley Face on its cover. Inside, the easy to read big-lettered text is in “Dear Diary” handwriting font and has its “i”’s dotted with little red hearts.
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