Issue 68, 14th June 2006

Anne Coulter Strangles Puppy On Live Television, Some Claim She Wants Attention
NEW YORK – Many thought right-wing political pundit Anne Coulter had been as vicious as she could get when she announced last week that the widows of 9/11 enjoyed their husbands' deaths. Yet Coulter topped herself Tuesday during an interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper.
Cooper was mid-way through a question about the Iraq war when Coulter pulled a three-week-old poodle out of her purse and strangled it in front of the cameras.>>>

Media Finds Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie In Namibia, Michael Jackson in Bahrain, But Osama Bin Laden Remains Elusive
Media outlets from around the world tenaciously searched for and found Brangelina and their new baby in Namibia, a small country in Africa.
Tabloid journalists also easily located Michael Jackson hiding in Bahrain with a piece of cloth over what's left of his face. Yet journalists do not seem willing or able to seek out Osama Bin Laden. >>>

Bush Makes Surprise Visit To Iraq, Aides Told Him He Was Going To Play In The Park
President Bush made a surprise visit to Baghdad Tuesday. The top-secret trip was kept a secret from nearly everyone including Jalal Talabani, the president of Iraq, and President Bush himself.
Apparently Bush's handlers, also called "aides," tricked the president by telling him they were taking him to the park to play >>>

Democracy Claims The Lives of 27 In Gaza Strip
Following the first Palestinian parliamentary elections in over a decade, Democracy took the lives of 27 people near Gaza beach. This is just one of many tragic events attributed to outbursts of Democracy in various sections of the Palestinian territories. >>>

US & Israeli Propaganda Conflict
Propaganda put out by the United States conflicted with that put out by Israel last week. According to anonymous sources it is causing quite a bit of discord between the two governments.
Israel is claiming that Israeli Special Forces took out Abu Mohammed Zahaq, a high-ranking member of Al Qaeda, when he came to the West Bank to meet with Palestinian contacts Thursday. The United States claims their military killed Zahaq in an air strike in Iraq on Friday. >>>

Innocent Man Shot By Police
- UK Police Apologise And Launch Double Enquiry

The British police have apologised for shooting an innocent man during an anti-terrorism raid in London earlier this month.

During the police raid on a house in East London involving hundreds of police, 23-year-old Mohammed Abdul Kahar was shot in the shoulder.
"I just see an orange spark and a big bang. I was just saying I done nothing. At that time I thought I was going to die," he said.
Mr Kahar and his younger brother were then detained for eight days before being released without charge. Police acted on intelligence that indicated they would find a chemical bomb, but after an eight-day search of the house, no such device was discovered.

Police say they apologise for the hurt their actions may have caused and yesterday launched a double enquiry into the shooting to ascertain a) why a Shoot To Kill order was placed on an innocent man, and b) why the police marksman was so poor that the victim lived to tell the tale.
“It’s quite unacceptable to have innocent men who have been shot wandering around talking to journalists,” police chief Sir Ian Blair told BIGfib. “And we have to find out exactly why our top marksman missed.”
Asked if the more important question wasn’t why the man was shot, Sir Ian was dismissive. “No, that’s obvious,” he commented. “He’s dark skinned and he’s got a really long beard. Doh!”
>>>

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