Issue 66, 8th May 2006

You're Crap but You Can Stay
- French Version Of
The Apprentice To Launch

By Nick Alexander

Following the success of the US and UK versions of The Apprentice, where 10 employees compete for the top job with a six figure salary, French TV channel TF1 announced that it is recording a French version.

The first series of the US version showed Donald Trump whittling down the candidates through terrifying one-day challenges, and made Your’e Fired! a catchphrase. The series was so successful that Martha Stewart is currently recording the second series.

Similarly the UK version with Entrepreneur, Sir Alan Sugar, has made menacing finger pointing and the words, “You’re a lightweight, you’re fired!” the UK’s favourite words.

To represent France’s cultural differences from the Anglo-Saxon business model, the format of the French program has been somewhat modified.

• Instead of winning a 500,000 euro salary, winners of the French “L’Apprenti” will win a job on the French state railways. Though the salary will only be 12000 euros a year (about 15,000$ US) the job is guaranteed for life and workers only do about 20 hours a week.
• Due to French employment law, no-one actually gets sacked during the process. Thus all candidates to the show are winners no matter how they perform.
• All employees are to be white. French TV rarely shows anyone from the countries 15 million ethnic minority, and French law prohibits showing them working.
  
  
  
• To reflect the nature of working in a French state company, the criteria of ruthless business acumen is replaced by demonstrated ability to look busy whilst doing nothing at all.
• As the number of un-sackable employees continues throughout the series, salaries will be paid by the public whether or not they watch the program.
• Anyone not chosen for the series will receive another job in a different French state industry.
• The SNCF boss who does the interviews has to be nice to everyone all the time to avoid the unions going on strike.
  

Due to these changes the series producers are currently looking for a catchphrase to replace the classic, “You’re Fired!”
The current favorite is thought to be, “T’est Nul mais tu reste.” (You’re crap but you can stay.)