Issue 58, 19-31st Dec 2005 
Welcome to the BIGfib End Of Year Special!

Proof, if any is needed, that somehow we made it through the year of Terror.
Yes despite the constant threat of Terror, Terrorists and Terry wogan we all survived to see another day.
And it was a terrifying year, but in the end most of the terror came not from shady sleeper-cells but from our politicians whipping us into a trembling frenzy about various unspecified threats. It's the only way they've worked out to keep their power, and strangely, the more they talk of terror the more it actually seems to whip up... I think there's a sea-change happening, and I think the people of the world are tired of terror. Sure, it was fun for a while watching the terror levels rise and fall, sure, it made something to watch on TV, but I think we're bored with the concept now. Maybe the politicians hadn't accounted for our ADHD attention span. Maybe 2006 will go down as the year politicians had to start talking of peace on earth.
The other thing 2005 had in abundance was nature. Tsunamis, hurricanes and earthquakes wreaked havoc across the world, and the world acted with unprecedented generosity - a wonderful sight...		 ...
For some tragedies, in New Orleans for example, our governments were shamefully slow getting around to doing anything at all, whilst in others, and I'm thinking of the Pakistan/Kashmir earthquake region, they still haven't done anything meaningful.
Seeing as you're reading this, you're probably, like me, one of the lucky ones, so maybe you can ask yourself if you couldn't spare a little cash - everything helps - for the millions who are homeless and starving in the disaster region that the world for some reason (and I'm thinking Muslim here, am I right?) forgot. If everyone who sees this web page gave 10 dollars, it would generate 500,000 dollars to feed, clothe, and shelter the children of Kashmir. Let 2006 begin as we mean it to continue. As a year of peace and love to all mankind.
Nick, Alan & Lee.
To Donate or learn more please click here : www.unicef.com
Looking for holiday gifts?
Why not give the BIGfib Book Of Bollocks, this year's most original gift at only $9.99. Support BIGfib.com, support the Kashmir Earthquake fund and give a great gift at the same time!
 January  January BIGfib Books
 February
 February
Israel Pulls-Out, West Bank Still Gets Pregnant
At Ariel Sharon's request, all Israeli settlers pulled out of the West Bank Friday.
This did not stop the West Bank from getting pregnant with twins.>>>
 March
 March
IRA Offers New Killings
Sources close to the Irish Premier, Bertie Ahern, say that new secret meetings between the IRA and the McCartney sisters have resulted in a new killings offer which is likely to be welcomed across the political spectrum.>>>
 April
 April
New Developments in Jackson Case
A collective gasp of horror rocked the courtroom last week as a lone boy of 10 came forth to declare he had never been molested by Michael Jackson. >>>

Britney Spears Pregnant With Child Star
Britney Spears has finally realized that you can't hide a growing waistline forever and has at last admitted that she is pregnant. >>>
 May
 May
NewsWeek Typo Causes Untold Deaths
NEW YORK - Newsweek magazine issued a correction Monday of a misspelled report that U.S. troops had desecrated the Koran, the Muslim holy book.
 June
 June
George W. Vader?
Many are claiming that in the final installment of "Star Wars," George Lucas draws parallels between Darth Vader and President Bush.
These similarities are made clear when in the movie when Vader says, "You're either with me or you're my enemy." >>>

Jackson Celebrates Innocence With Record Sleepover
The singer who was found not guilty of child abuse last week has decided to celebrate his new found freedom by organising the world’s biggest sleepover. Invitations to over 250 abused children worldwide were sent out yesterday, a spokesman for the star told BIGfib. >>>
 July
 July
After G8, Africa Builds Giant Coffee Cup, Begs For Change
Although the eight world leaders involved in the G8 Conference in Scotland did agree to double aid to Africa and cancel the debt of several African countries, they failed to agree on setting a percentage of each country's economy to devote to aid.
Setting such a percentage was one of the top goals of Prime Minister Blair who led
the conference. >>>
 August
 August
Great Britain Finally Returns To Sense Of Normalcy, Pretentious Superiority
LONDON – Several weeks after suicide bombers created chaos throughout England's streets and subways, the people are finally able to return to a sense of normalcy and pretentious superiority. >>>

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie To Adopt Jennifer Aniston
In a move which has the tabloids on a feeding frenzy, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have announced they plan to adopt Jennifer Aniston as their third child.
This move shocked even the closest friends of the three stars seeing as Pitt and Aniston were married for four years before Pitt ended it to be with actress Angelina Jolie.>>>
 September
 September
Martha Stewart Released Back Into Wild
New York – After five months in a federal prison in West Virginia and six months wearing an electric ankle bracelet at a housing facility in Bedford, NY, Martha Stewart was released back into the wild this Sunday. >>>

White House Explains Slow Response To Katrina – Bush Finishing Up 'My Pet Goat'
Washington D.C. – The Bush Administration has been highly criticized for not responding quickly enough to the Hurricane Katrina disaster in New Orleans.>>>
 October
 October
Bush Explains Magic Suit Criteria In Supreme Court Choice
George Bush yesterday nominated his former personal lawyer, Harriet Miers, to take the supreme court seat which until now held the balance of power between the court's liberals and conservatives >>>

After Years Of Abuse, Earth Abandons Policy Of Appeasement Toward Humans
CORE, EARTH – A representative for the Earth announced Tuesday that the planet has indeed abandoned its policy, maintained for thousands of years, of appeasement toward humans. Following the tsunamis, Hurricanes Katrina & Rita, and now the devastating earthquake in Pakistan, many experts had already hypothesized that the earth was trying a new strategy. >>>
 November
 November
Prince Charles, Camilla Attempt To Visit U.S., Instead Shipped To CIA 'Black Prison'
Prince Charles and Camilla had planned to make their first visit to the United States as a couple this week.
Instead they now find themselves in one of the CIA's "black prisons" hidden somewhere in Pakistan. >>>

Blair Says New-Labour Transformation Now Complete
LONDON - Tony Blair yesterday hinted that his resignation could be sooner rather than later when he told the press that his transformation of the UK Labour party is now complete.>>>
 December
 December
Pope Benedict, Britney Spears The Dalai Lama & Kim Jong II Condemn BIGfib Book Of Bollocks
VATICAN - Benedict XVI took the unusual step today of condemning The BIGfib Book Of Bollocks as a “pack of blasphemous lies." >>>

Paris Hilton Releases Own Line Of
Computer Viruses
Following the impressive success of several computer viruses touting nude photos of Paris Hilton, the hotel heiress announced Thursday that she would be releasing her own line of computer viruses titled "PARIS HILTON NAKED AND RAW!!!!">>>
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