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WORLD NEWS |
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BIGfib Books |
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U.S. Proves It's Safe From People Who Loudly Announce
Non-Existent Bombs On Planes
By Lee Camp
MIAMI, FL – The United States proved it is truly safe from people who board planes while loudly exclaiming that they have a bomb.
Mentally ill man Rigoberto Alpizar was shot and killed by air marshals Wednesday while boarding a flight in Miami. Homeland Security Advisor Frances Townsend said this is exactly how the system should work, and it "shows that our country is incredibly safe from people who scream they have a bomb while in the presence of a Federal Marshal and then refuse to do anything the marshal says.
This demonstrates that the only terrorists who could get onto a plane are those who somehow keep their explosive a secret."
Many in the Bush Administration are touting this tragic incident as a feather in their cap, stating that it displays the country is guarded against attacks. In fact, shooting the mentally ill man worked so well, Bush has plans to announce a new bill calling for the killing of all mentally ill men who try to board aircrafts.
After Alpizar was killed, officials then exploded his luggage to make sure it did not contain bombs. After that, they exploded his wife, his dog, and his native country of Ecuador.
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