Issue 56, 1st Dec 2005 
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Tony Blair Launches Blistering UK
Government Economy Drive
By Lolo Laroche

In the light of the increasingly difficult financial position of the UK government, Tony Blair followed the recent announcements of NHS budget cuts and disabled-persons benefit cuts with a blistering swathe of cuts to his own government.
Announcing the cuts, estimated at UK 900 billion or 6p in the pound off Income tax – the largest spending cut ever announced – Blair told parliament, “ever since the Iraq war, it has become increasingly obvious that the government in its largest sense has become an anachronism.”
“To start with I listened and convinced everyone my way was best, then I listened and just did what I wanted anyway. Nowadays, to be honest, I don’t even ask anyone what they think anymore.”

"in my sleep"

“When I realized that I had just decided to renew Britain’s nuclear deterrent and build a new generation of nuclear power stations in my sleep without so much as muttering the question to anyone in the government, I realized that it was time for the government to go.”
The cuts – to take place Monday, will see all MP’s and members of the House of Lords, joining the UK dole queue. It is thought unlikely that any of them can get proper jobs and unemployment will no doubt rise substantially as a result.

"probably right"

The general view of those implicated in the layoffs was typified by Charles Clark, the now ex Home Secretary, who told BIGfib, “I am shocked to be honest, but we all think that if Tony says it’s for the best then he’s probably right.”


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