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WORLD NEWS |
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BIGfib Books |
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Fanny-Pack Bomber Snubbed By 72 Virgins
By Lee Camp
EGYPT – The man termed "The Fanny Pack Bomber" who blew himself up with an explosives-filled fanny-pack outside a hotel in Egypt is reportedly being ignored by the 72 virgins he was promised in the afterlife.
One of the virgins, who asked to remain nameless, said, "I don't even want to be seen with this loser. A fanny pack?? Come on! 1989 called – you know? This guy is like king of the dip shits!"
The bomber himself had this to say, "I thought it was a very stylish fanny pack. It matched my shoes, and it had extra pockets for change or cigarettes or something. I mean, it was very versatile. In fact, I don't care what those virgins say, I'm sorry to have lost that fanny pack."
Apparently Malak Aviv, the so-called "Male Purse Bomber" is also having some difficulty with his virgins.
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