Musgrave and Widdecombe abducted by aliens.
Police in Colorado last night confirmed that Anne Widdecombe the UK Tory party MP and US Senator Marilyn Musgrave have been abducted by aliens.
Over a hundred bystanders at Safeway, where the unfortunate victims were shopping have all now given coherent reports of the abduction police Chief Christopher Opper told BIGfib.
“We were a little incredulous at the beginning, but when over a hundred shoppers told us exactly the same thing… I think we have to start believing them…”
The statements all describe the doors to the store smashing open and fifteen silver aliens with huge heads and enormous visible penis-like appendages bursting into the store.
Using ray guns to control those who had failed to escape from the store they forced shoppers to line up against the frozen meats counter.
Lifting up womens dresses and running their clawed hands across the mens bottoms the Aliens walked up and down the row muttering "Secks ol", the meaning of which is unknown, before finally choosing Marilyn Musgrave and Anne Widdecombe.
Anne Widecombe is said to have protested loudly that her "bottom", pressed against the frozen chicken refrigerator, was "freezing". Some reports claim that the chief alien in the purple vinyl suit distinctly said the word “TV”. This has been taken to mean either that the aliens recognised the two women from seeing them on television or that they thought the two women were in fact transvestites. Either theory could explain the strange coincidence by which the two vociferously anti-gay campaigners were chosen. However why the two women were shopping together in the store remains to be explained.
Finally all reports of the abduction describe the aliens placing dog-collar like leashes around the “winners” necks and laughing hysterically as they dragged them from the store chanting "Sew-Dough-Me, Sew-Dough-Me, Sew-Dough-Me" which is thought to mean "Goodbye".
See also : Sex Parties "Completely compatible" with Conservative Party philosophy
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