Issue 49, Mon Aug the 29th 2005
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Pat Robertson Apologizes For Remarks, God Apologizes For Robertson
By Lee Camp

Pat Robertson, host of Christian Broadcasting Network's "700 Club" was strongly criticized for remarks last week that the U.S. should assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
Robertson first clarified his remarks, saying the U.S could simply kidnap Chavez, and later apologized for his statements altogether.
In a new development in the story, God put out a statement Wednesday apologizing for creating Robertson. Among other things God said, "To be honest this apology is a bit late in coming. I should have apologized for him back in the 1980's when he said Jews shouldn't be allowed to hold political office. Honestly, I just made him on a whim.
I thought it would be cool to have someone talking about me on TV every day. Little did I know at the time that he was gonna turn into a freakin' racist anti-Semitic crackpot. Anyway, trust Me on this, and just go back to ignoring him like most people were doing before all this happened.
Asked to comment on God's unprecedented apology, Robertson suggested the U.S. should assassinate the Almighty, but he later withdrew the statement, suggesting that a kidnapping might be sufficient.

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