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BIGfib Books |
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Due To Poor Economy, Office Whores Put Out 23% Less This Quarter
By Lee Camp
The Associated Press is reporting that due to the sluggish economy in the U.S. along with high gasoline prices, office whores put out 23% less this past fiscal quarter.
Experts disagree as to the reason for the correlation, but the most common view is that the office whores believe there is less to gain by servicing a higher-up in a company
than there used to be.
Emily Groves, a long-time office whore out of Chicago, had this to say, "What would be the point of putting out for a guy who might not even have a job next week? Besides, I'm too busy
trying to get my own work done. I don't have time for my loser boss unless his paycheck gets back above 200 grand a year. The way I see it, it's just sound fiscal policy for me to conserve the good stuff right now."
Other theories for the downturn in office whore performance are the increase in cubicle-style buildings rather than private offices, the outsourcing of office whores to India and China, and the easy availability of internet porn allowing men to satisfy their daytime needs in other ways.
One final explantion for the phenomena was provided by Jim Rake of the AP news agency where the story originated.
‘I think that should read Offshores,’ he told BIGfib. ‘The journalist Wen Chun dictated the story over a dodgy phone line. It wasn’t meant to read Office Whores putting out less but Offshores . Wen has a pretty strong accent and now we’ve circulated the story worlwide I don’t think anyone is gonna dare back down.’
What do you think?? Tell us your views here!
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