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BIGfib Books |
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 Canadians Turned Away At Celestial Customs
By Alan Lord
Toronto - An Air France passenger jetliner carrying 309 people skidded off a runway and burst into flames Tuesday afternoon while landing in a dangerous thunderstorm - yet no one died in the crash.
All 309 Canadians aboard the Airbus, returning from a vacation in France, survived the crash. People are claiming that this is nothing short of a miracle.
However, a fax, literally heaven-sent, which has landed on CBC’s newsdesk explains the mystery.
It states that unfortunately the Canadian passengers were found to be just too dull to be let in.
The Holy Fax goes on to say that unusually Satan also refused the party of Canadians considering them « way too good , polite and inoffensive » to go to Hell.
The fax goes on,
« I apologise for this unusual and painful decision, but given the exploration of all possible options for this party, and the failure of negotiations with the Satanic clearing house I decided, well, - fuck em, let them scramble up the ravine and stick out their thumbs on the 401. »
Yours, God.”
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