Issue 47, Sat Aug 2nd 2005
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Reporters Cling To Missing Girl In Aruba, Ignore Missing Boy In
Sahara
By Lee Camp


ARUBA – Teenager Natalee Holloway went missing in Aruba on May 30 of this year. It's now been two months and reporters continue to cling to follow-up reports on the girl even though no new information on the case has been presented in the past two or three weeks.
Jonathon Aires, a 12-year-old from Oregon has been missing in the Sahara desert for three months and only one journalist has reported live from the area.
An anonymous reporter at Fox News who was one of the thousands on the scene of Holloway's disappearance said, "It's Aruba, man! I say make it last as long as possible. I was there for two weeks, had a blast! We'd tape ten two-minute reports in the morning and then spend the rest of the day on the beach with gigantic tax-deductible tropical drinks. In fact, viewers at home couldn't tell, but in some of my reports I was wearing a bathing suit and sandals. Sucks they made me come back."
Ed Santos, a reporter for The Oregonian and the only journalist sent to Sudan to cover the disappearance of Jonathon Aires, had this to say,
"This is bullshit! It's hot as hell out here and everybody you meet is almost dead! My hotel room had seven snakes in it. Why the hell did I get sent out here?? 'Cause I'm half Mexican? Is that it?!"
Besides going missing in the Sahara Desert, Jonathon Aires was also an ugly child, which made his story even more ignorable. Even Aires' parents did not make the trek out to Africa. They said they had planned to but found that the flight was very long and extremely expensive.



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