Issue 45, Wed June 22nd 2005
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U.S. Outsources Torture, Hundreds Lose Jobs
By Lee Camp

Anonymous inside sources report that the U.S. military has been shipping detainees to Egypt and Afghanistan where they are tortured for information. This practice has been met with much anger and resistance from workers unions and regular citizens across the country.
One man at a "Don't Outsource Our Torture Jobs" rally in Washington D.C., said, "We've got plenty of fine torturers here at home.
We don't need to outsource those jobs. I mean, doesn't President Bush realize that the American torturers have families to feed and kids to put through college? Let's put America first for once."
The Egyptian Torturers Union had no comment on the issue. Those being tortured released a brief statement to the press that is printed here in its entirety. "AAAAAAAAAGGGAHHHAAAAGG!!! …Damn that smarts."

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