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Pope's Drunken Brother Gives Off-Color Eulogy At Funeral
By Lee Camp
VATICAN CITY – Breaking up what was otherwise a somber, formal funeral for Pope Jean Paul II, the Pope's brother, Bill Wojtyla, gave a rather intoxicated, off-color eulogy on Friday.
Speaking of the Pope, whose birth name is Karol Joseph Wojtyla, Bill Wojtyla said, "Karol and I were at this crazy strip club when he was 20 and I was 17. One of the broads there had some mad junk in the trunk. I'm talkin' a badonkadonk half way out the door! And she was all over Karol, but he didn't want none of it. That's how f**kin' holy he was. Even when he's got ripe ass in his face, he could look the other way! God's gotta' be proud of that sh*t! I mean, the only bad thing Karol ever did in his life was try on mom's clothes, but even that was only a couple times when nobody was lookin'. It never hurt nobody."
A spokesperson for the Vatican admits now that the free bar at the funeral was a poor decision.
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