New Developments in Jackson Case A collective gasp of horror rocked the courtroom last week as a lone boy of 10 came forth to declare he had never been molested by Michael Jackson. >>> Britney Spears Pregnant With Child Star Britney Spears has finally realized that you can't hide a growing waistline forever and has at last admitted that she is pregnant. >>> Pope's Drunken Brother Gives Off-Color Eulogy At Funeral VATICAN CITY – Breaking up what was otherwise a somber, formal funeral for Pope Jean Paul II, the Pope's brother, Bill Wojtyla, gave a rather intoxicated, off-color eulogy on Friday. >>> Olympic Bomber To Plead Guilty Of Being Bad At Making Bombs ALABAMA – Eric Rudolph, the man responsible for the 1996 Olympic Park bombing, pleaded guilty Tuesday to a separate abortion clinic bombing in 1998. He has claimed responsibility for a string of bombings all over the southern U.S. which killed only two people and injured several more. >>> Prince Of Nepal Steps On Bush's Foot At Pope's Funeral, US Bombs Nepal NEPAL – The US took strong military action against Nepal on Saturday much to the surprise of the rest of the world. >>> Ballot Fraud: Special Relationship Pays Off UK PM Blair’s special relationship with George Bush is finally paying off, political experts are saying. For a long time, it has been impossible to see what the benefits of British support for the US led Iraq invasion actually are, not only for the UK and for the world, but specifically for Prime Minister Blair himself. >>> Britney Takes Image To New Level, Gets Pregnant MALIBU, CA – Britney Spears pushed her slut image to a new high Tuesday when she announced that she's pregnant. Millions have watched the pop singer over the past seven years as her celebrity persona has grown increasingly whore-ish. >>> From Nice Mayor To Nasty Rock Singer, Strange but True… Rocked by a financial scandal, Jacques Peyrat, the ex Front Nationale maire of Nice (south of France), is said to be considering new career options. >>>
The UK's three major parties this week launched their manifestos for the upcoming UK general election. New Labour published a little red book containing the party’s third term program, notably, better schools, better hospitals, a better deal for the poor, the middle classes and the rich, a better deal for retired and non-retired citizens, and better school dinners for everyone else. Finally, in a personal message, Tony Blair promises the UK electorate, that he himself will be better behaved. He also promises to try not to start any new wars. The Conservative manifesto concentrates on the threat of imminent massive immigration to the UK by foreigners, and Conservative plans to surround the country with barbed wire in order to keep them out. Uniquely, Michael Howard, the opposition leader is unable to use a computer, which is the reason that the Conservative manifesto is hand written.He is also rumoured to be illiterate, which appears to be the reason it was actually hand written by his kids. Charles Kennedy’s Liberal party manifesto is the only document of the three to be printed on recycled and recyclable paper. Charles Kennedy told BIGfib: “It’s plain to see that we have no desire of any kind to win this election, so our main objective was to ensure that our - admittedly pointless - manifesto was immediately recyclable and can be binned with ease without fear of harming the environment. >>>
