Issue 40, Mon March 14th 2005
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Syria, Al Qaeda, Hamas Fight Over Credit For Car Bomb
By Lee Camp

JERUSALEM – A large car bomb exploded in Jerusalem Thursday in an area of the city that Prime Minister Ariel Sharon was scheduled to visit later that day.

The explosion appears to be a failed assassination attempt but still killed five innocent people. Syria, Al Qaeda, and Hamas are all fighting over credit for this latest attack.

A spokesman for Al Qaeda said in a taped statement, “That’s totally our work. Look at how poorly made the bomb was. Only we make bombs like that.”
However, an unnamed member of Hamas stated that the bombing was theirs and that they are quite tired of not receiving credit for their terrorism.
The man said, “It’s just frustrating. We put all this time and effort into planning the event, organizing it, making sure the bomb is working properly, and then when we finally kill the innocent people, someone else takes all the credit and press coverage! I don’t feel that being evil should be such a thankless job.”

Fidel Castro, Donald Rumsfeld, the country of Sudan, and Mel Gibson also claimed responsibility for the same blast.


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