Church of England split into two.
The Church of England (C of E) today announced a decision to split in two.
The split, over the issue of the ordination of gay priests and same sex marriages, has forced into the open two counter currents within the organisation which have been doing battle for over thirty years. Neither organisation will be able to retain the "C of E" logo. >>>
Dossier not 'sexed up' say MPs
Alistair Campbell, the government's communications director,  has been provisionally cleared of the BBC's charge of "sexing up" British intelligence in the run-up to the Iraq war, the foreign affairs select committee agreed yesterday.
The committee came to its view, however, on the basis of the evidence presented to the committee, and will complain it was given insufficient access to the photos and videos contained in the original dossier. >>>
New tax law tells French to sod off.
The French prime minister Jean Pierre Raffarin today announced new tax laws that he claims will encourage foreign investment in France.
The new laws will offer a rebate of 35% on standard income tax rates to foreign professionals living and working in France.
The law, which is a de-facto acceptance of the fact that Frances high income tax levels prevent high earners from wanting to be resident in the country makes however makes no such provision for French nationals.>>>
Berlusconi wins comedy club contract
Following his  hilarious performance in the European Parliament, BIGfib can reveal that Silvio Berlusconi, Italian Prime Minister has been approached by "The Comedy Club" in Berlin as compère.
His sophisticated sense of humour that had representatives from all over Europe crying in delight is quite simply "irresistible", according to Gunter Stern, manager of "Comedy Club Enterprises. >>>
|
Surgery only hope for twins.
Professor Laurel Spatz and fellow surgeon Edina Kiely today suggested that a surgical operation could now be performed to separate the siamese twins known as Tony and George.
The two twins were born joined at the head and have been forced to do everything together ever since.
The two professors who have already successfully separated siamese twins said that though the two men quite clearly share the same brain, and despite an only 10% chance that one or other of the men will survive, the operation was "clearly worth a try."
"The fact of the matter is that these two men are living a nightmare. They have no quality of life and they are having catastrophic effects on their environment."
Other complications are suggested by the fact that initial scans show that George has no heart while Tony seems to have no balls, but according to Spatz these are not insurmountable obstacles.
"If these were normal people, I think that would be a big worry." Kiely told BIGfib, "However for politicians I don't think it is likely to be an issue."
The operation could take place before the end of the year if the twins decide to go ahead with the separation."
|
Ads ever more intrusive says annual report on Internet advertising. >>>
French Government wondering who to piss off next. >>>
Four key questions Blair has to answer. >>>
Radioactive theme park for South Australia. >>>
Why men wear jeans. Report probes male psyche. >>>
More news from Satiresearch. >>>
|
Amazan patents “Stuck In A Loop ™” system.
With tech companies getting stuck in their search for ever-lower service levels new systems for annoying clients are becoming ever more sought after intellectual property.
Amazan, the world’s biggest online retailer, confirmed the trend today by patenting its “Stuck In A Loop ™” support system. >>>
|
US discovers new continent
President Bush this week announced the stunning discovery an entirely new continent.
 The previously unexplored landmass will be named Africa, an ancient name apparently used by the tribal peoples living on the continent.
It will be the first entirely new landmass discovered since the days of captain cook.
"This is an amazing day for the US and for the world." Bush told reporters. "An entirely new continent, filled with an unsophisticated people quite clearly waiting to be led into a new dawn of enlightenment by the US."
Bush told reporters that the US has not yet decided how to proceed in claiming the territory.>>>
|
A new revolutionary diet is sweeping Europe as people desperately try to lose weight for the summer holidays.