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Amazan patents “Stuck In A Loop ™” support system.
With tech companies getting stuck in their search for ever-lower service levels new systems for annoying clients are becoming ever more sought after intellectual property.
Amazan, the world’s biggest online retailer, confirmed the trend today by patenting its “Stuck In A Loop ™” support system.
BIGfib spoke to patent expert Peter Sax of New York based Sax, Rex and Max.
“Basically the objective of low-service quality has hit up against the limits of what is possible. The traditional methods for reducing service levels, longer delivery delays, increased order errors, frequent double credit card debits and unattainable customer support can’t go much further, and without new solutions such as Amazans “Stuck In A Loop ™” system there is likely to be little progression.
So is “Stuck In A Loop ™” really that innovative?
"Basically the concept started to evolve when the first websites came on line... Companies who provided contact information such as email and telephone numbers were often inundated, so to reduce client contact they started to hide the contact information, to make it more difficult to find."
"Stage two was forcing people to plough their way through pages of supposed support information before they could get to the contact information.
Amazan’s now-patented "Stuck in a loop™” system is even more powerful because it prevents almost 100% of customers from getting any kind of customer service.”
In a nutshell the “Stuck In A Loop ™” system describes a mechanism whereby while searching for contact information the user clicks here, clicks there, and slowly works his way through a huge number of support pages.
“Eventually he clicks on a link on the last page thinking he will finally get to speak to someone, or send them an email, but in fact he links back to the first page...”
The really clever bit of the patent Sax says is the fact that the user can’t use the “Back” button in his navigator.
“When he suddenly finds himself back on the welcome page the user is bound to think he made a mistake. “Stuck In A Loop ™” prevents the “Back” button from working, so the user then has to plough through the entire series of pages before he can verify where he went wrong.
So is “Stuck In A Loop ™” the ultimate solution for online companies?
"I expect as UMTS rolls out companies will be finding even better ways to keep their clients at a distance... But for the moment, “Stuck In A Loop ™”is about the best there is."
See also : HIV - New Internet virus unstoppable.
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