Issue 39, Fri Feb 25th 2005
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Bush Encourages Russian Democracy,
Offers to Help With Dodgy Voting Machines
By Lolo Laroche


President Bush yesterday told Russia’s President Putin that he has "concerns" about Russia’s commitment to democracy.

"Democracies have certain things in common,” Bush told reporters. “They have a rule of law and protection of minorities, a free press and a viable political opposition," Bush said.

“When things get tough, the answer is never to suppress democracy, but maybe to manipulate it a little.”

“With the aim of cementing our friendship, and spreading the US democratic model around the world, I have today offered to supply Russia with thousands of dodgy voting machines which Diebold, my buddy’s company, can program with whatever result I say.”

“As long as Putin get the machines installed before the elections, and of course, stays friends with the Bush family, his future is assured.”






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