Pentagon Admits Creating Secret Spy Unit In Order To Torture In Peace & Quiet
By Lee Camp
WASHINGTON—Officials at the Pentagon grudgingly admitted to the creation of a secret spy unit which has been in operation since a month after 9/11.
The unit's existence was first revealed Tuesday by the Washington Post. One anonymous official said, "The secret unit was created to allow us to torture possible terror suspects in peace and quiet. We just don't need people asking all kinds of questions. And we realize there are those who will claim torture is wrong."
"Let me state for the record that in the case we mistakenly torture people who have no information, we do provide them with several lovely parting gifts including a home edition of the board game 'Sorry!'"
Although the Pentagon has not released any further information, sources say that because the Secret Spy Unit is now known, there are plans in the works to change its name to the "Not-So-Secret Spy Unit."
