America in shock as Janet Jackson reveals national secret.
The US was plunged into shock this week when one of the nation’s best kept secrets was revealed to the nation.
In a near Islamic fervour America reeled during the Super Bowl as TV screens simultaneously beamed a terrifying and disgusting truth into their living rooms.
Calls for tighter TV censorship were immediate and cross party.
Emergency infrastructures had already been set up by the Bush administration to deal with the psychological aftermath of an eventual Al-Quaida leak about the non existence of Father Christmas. They were yesterday being fully exploited and explanatory pamphlets and emergency numbers were being published across the US to deal with a nation in mourning for its lost childhood.
“America came of age yesterday.” Philip Syco, consultant psychiatrist to the Pentagon told BIGfib. “It could have been done more gently, I think Janet Jackson’s revelation was psychologically traumatic for many people, but sooner or later the truth had to come out. Beneath our clothes we are basically animals and beneath their clothes American women do still have breasts which were biologically intended for the feeding of infants. Now we just have to deal with the aftermath.”
“The hardest hit will be women who have lived their whole lives thinking that they were alone living with this breast thing. There’s no telling what will happen once word gets around that it’s normal.”
