Issue 13, Friday January 23rd 2004  
 HEALTH
“Don’t like yourself ?"
"Take E-flexor and be someone else !”

Wyleth this week launches a new campaign. “Don’t like being you ? Take E-flexor and be someone else !”
The advertising campaign claims that anyone who doesn’t enjoy spending time with themselves could benefit from the companies anti-depressant drug.

Stephen Pusher of Wyleth health care told BIGfib “Basically there’s no reason for anyone to feel miserable about anything anymore… What we’re saying is very simple and very positive: Hey, you don’t like you ? You can't live with yourself anymore ? Take E-flexor or 'E' as we in the trade like to call it, and fix it ! Hell you’ll be glad you did. Hell ! So will our shareholders !”

Take the E-flexor questionnaire below and see whether you need Wyleth’s drugs.

DO YOU NEED SOME 'E' ?
Instructions : Please click on the appropriate description for each question below, based on an assessment of yourself and then hit the submit button to see your results.
A:Frequently
B:Often
C:Regularly
Are you every nasty or mean to your friends ?
ABC
Are you ever an impatient bitchy drama-queen ?
ABC
Do you bore people with endless dreary phone calls ?
ABC
Do you go on and on and on about your problems even though no-one cares ?
ABC
Do you change the subject when people tell you theirs ?
ABC
Do you shout at people or cry or place a hand dramatically against your forehead when ill ?
ABC
Click here to find out if you need drugs =====>


See also : Lifestyle not genes says new diet book

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The most common side effects with E-flexor are dick shrinkage, rabbit ears, hairy tongue syndrome, unexpected screams and rages, murder, hysteria, alcoholism and manic-4am floor scrubbing syndrome.
Other less important side effects include nausea, vomiting, dizziness ,palpitations, headache, involuntary ejaculation, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, psychosis and death.


See also : Internet ads ever-more intrusive says new report



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