McDonalds Change To Prolong Lifespan
In an attempt to prolong the tenure of their chief executives McDonalds corp. announced sweeping changes to their menus worldwide.
Fat filled hamburgers will be replaced with healthy chick-pea-and-parsley burgers, beef-fat fries with wholemeal pita breads, while sugar loaded shakes are set to dissapear being replaced with freshly squeezed juice. A major advertising operation is planned to reflect the food changes.
The re-branded entity will be called Stavros’s and the well-known Ronald McDonald character will be replaced with a new sun-tanned version called Stavros McPapadopoulos. >>>

Prince Charles To Open Model School
Fighting back at his critics, Prince Charles today announced the construction of two model schools in his model town of Poundbury.
Poundbury, the Prince’s new urban village project, is intended to back up his architectural criticisms by showing how we could all live better in a more traditional environment.
Now the project is to be extended to demonstrate how the British educational system could benefit through a return to traditional values.
The announcement it appears, has been rushed out in an attempt to diffuse heated criticism in the British media following a leaked memo earlier this week. >>>

Ukraine Should Follow US Lead: Putin
President Putin says the Ukrain could learn a lesson from the US about how to deal with the aftermath of their disputed election.
President Putin of Russia, who is known to strongly support Viktor Yanukovych, the “winner” of the recently rigged elections, told BIGfib,
“They should shut up and put up. >>>

Root Of Bush Aggression Found, World Headed For Peace
The root of the Bush administration’s aggressive foreign and domestic policies was discovered yesterday when amongst a spate of resignations surrounding the US president Whitehouse Medic, Ivor N. Obrain resigned.
His replacement took less than an hour to discover that the president had mistakenly been supplied with Testosterone patches instead of Nicotine. >>>