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Saddam's brother's cleaner captured.
American forces yesterday announced the spectacular capture of Saddam Hussein's brother's cleaner Abid Hamid Mahmoud al-Tikriti. US administration officials in Iraq expressed delight yesterday in the arrest of Mr. Mahmoud. >>>
Berlusconi hides Balkenende's Embarrassment.
 As leaders of the European Union met in Greece last week Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi of Italy, left, saved his Dutch counterpart Jan Peter Balkenende the embarrassment of having his hard-on noticed by adjusting his suit.
"I shook his hand." Berlusconi told Greece's ABC channel, "and couldn't help noticing a huge lump in his trousers... At first I thought it was a gun, you know. But then I realised that guns aren't allowed inside the conference building... So I discreetly adjusted his suit to hide the problem. It was a friendly gesture." >>>
Canada looks to “rock and roll” phase of re-branding operation.
Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien today called an extraordinary meeting with Sheila Copps Minister of Canadian Heritage and Sharon Carstairs the Senate leader to discuss phase three of the contreversial "Re-branding Canada" operation. >>>
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Palestine & Israel warned:
Get it together or get invaded.
Colin Powel showed US impatience with the Israel-Palestine peace process and indicated that if they fail to follow the "Roadmap to Peace" they could face invasion by US forces.
"I think it's obvious that if they can't get it together, the US will seriously envisage adding them (Palestine and Israel) to our liberated colonies in the middle east." Powel told BIGfib.
Although neither country has significant oil reserves, Stephen Slip, president of Exxon Mobile, responsible for the election of George Bush and on a day to day basis for steering of US foreign policy in the region, said his company would have "No significant objections." to the plan."To Exxon the world divides into two..." Slip told BIGfib. "Customers and Suppliers... Israel may not be any use on a supply basis, but with everyone driving huge SUV's to all those outlying satellite towns in the occupied territories they sure make a great market."
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No danger from GM crops says Elliot Morley. >>>
"War not incompatible with peace." - Sharon. >>>
Secret reasons for Britain's space probe to the planet Mars. >>>
Sex Parties "completely compatible" with Conservative Party philosophy. >>>
More news from Satiresearch. >>>
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US: Environmental protection agency to encourage climate change.
The US Environmental Protection Agency this week released a draft report on the state of the environment, but following editing by the White House, a long section originally describing risks from rising global temperatures has been entirely replaced. >>>
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Australia Ripe for Bloody Revolution
Australians are now more in fundamental disagreement with their government than at any time since the end of the Second World War.
 In fact, according to sociologist Brian Goodbloke of Sydney University, the country could be ripe for a bloody revolution.
The image of Australians as an easy going, welcoming, environmentally conscious people is accepted worldwide, but, says Dr Goodbloke, in Australia today that reality is only present on an individual level. The relationship between the individual and government has all but broken down. >>>
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| HEALTH |
Most surfers privates already too big.
 A study released today shows that most net surfers privates are already too big for their partners. The problem, a result of the ever increasing number of "Penis Enlargement, Click here" adverts is particularly serious in countries where Internet penetration is the most widespread and where the English tongue used by the spammers is widely spoken. >>>
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