The UK government yesterday denied that the order for 24,000 tablets of the anti-sleep stimulant drug, Provigil recently placed by the Ministry of Defence is destined for use by Troops in Iraq.
“The troops don’t need stimulants to keep them awake.” The UK defence secretary Geoff Hoon told BIGfib. “If they fall asleep they die or they get their limbs blown off… that would keep anyone awake.”
The drugs are, he claims intended to keep politicians awake during sittings of the UK house of commons.
“The war in Iraq has been going on so long, and discussion about it has been so incessant that ministers are clearly losing interest and have simply been dozing off. It’s been getting to the point where the democratic process itself is in danger. Tony has been refusing to pass any new laws until everyone sits up and listens.”
“By slipping Provigil in the commons water supply we will be able to ensure the full attention our illustrious leader prefers.”
