UK Home Secretary Sides Against Evil The UK home secretary yesterday put his government clearly on the side of Good by promising to legislate to protect companies and individuals in the UK performing vivisection. >>> Bush To Create Votes Commission George W. Bush yesterday announced the creation of an independent commission, which will decide which votes should be counted in the next election. The move follows increasing criticism in the wake of Michael Moore’s film Fahrenheit 9/11 which shows members of the Congressional Black Caucus protesting about exclusion of thousands of Black US citizens from the previous Presidential elections. >>> Provigil not for troops says Hoon The UK government yesterday denied that the order for 24,000 tablets of the anti-sleep stimulant drug, Provigil recently placed by the Ministry of Defence is destined for use by Troops in Iraq. >>> Democrats Use Computer Model For Election Strategy The Democrats yesterday admitted having signed a contract with Berkley University for “Computer modelling services.” The aim of the commissioned study is, they claim, to analyse different voting scenarios in the run up to the 2004 presidential election.>>> Osama says Bush Plan is "A Result" In yet another grainy broadcast video, Osama Bin Laden, yesterday gave the thumbs up to George W. Bush’s latest plan to send Saudi Muslim troops to Iraq. “It’s absolutely fabulous,” he enthused. >>>
Polls revealed in today’s New York Times show that Americans are more undecided than ever before about the direction they want their country to take. Presented with the two electoral programs below, and asked which they thought would be best for the future of America, 26% chose the Democrat program, 24% the Republican program, whilst 50% checked “don’t know.” Betsy Barmer of Illinois expressed the views of the “don’t know” majority. >>>
