New UK citizens to face tuffer English test English tests Tuffer than wot woz expected four new immigwants wiwl be introduced, it woz disclowsed yesterday. New migwants who wont to become British citizens wiwl haf to deminstrate a minimawl standard hof English aw tayk a compulsawy corse of langage. >>> US asks Foreign Journalists to Leave A crackdown by US authorities on issuing visas to foreign journalists threatens to cause chaos for overseas broadcasters and newspapers just five months before the presidential election. The new rules, which come into force next week, will ban overseas reporters and news crews stationed in the US from renewing their visas without leaving the country first. >>> UK Government to Provide Beating Courses In response to the newly adopted Lords' amendment on child beating, the Blair administration yesterday announced that it will this week launch a national program of evening classes to enable parents to “beat properly.” >>> Berlusconi: "just trying to help." The two oldest children of Italy's prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, who are being investigated for suspected money-laundering, were “just trying to help,” with Italy’s national debt, their father claimed yesterday.>>> BRIP to challenge UKIP in W.Sussex Following the latest anti-globalisation trend, the UK BRIP party yesterday announced that they would challenge UKIP in West Sussex. UKIP, the UK independence party, who performed well in the recent European elections fighting on a program of Britain withdrawing from Europe was quick to rubbish the BRIP program. >>>
In response to last week's sweeping supreme court verdict which entitled Guantánamo bay prisoners to challenge their detentions in US courts, senior justice department officials told reporters yesterday that the Pentagon will establish a “special” US court to review the detention of each of the 595 prisoners. "We intend to respect the Supreme Court ruling to the letter." A representative told BIGfib. "We’re going to create a special court and to avoid any further appeals, the judge will be the highest authority in the land. Our Illustrious leader, King Bush II." Sweeping aside claims that prisoners should have access to defense lawyers and trial by Jury, he continued >>>
Kylie's Sunday Feast
Marks & Spencer has, for a third time, snubbed a takover offer, this time from “Gripper” tour operator Saga.