When North and South Korea yesterday unplugged the huge loudspeaker systems that have been hurling propaganda messages across the border for the past fifty years, the problem of what to do with the now redundant powerful equipment had not yet been solved.
“Until the UKIP representative Robert Kilroy-Silk came along we were just going to dump the speakers in the revolutionary landfill site.” Kim Jong II told BIGfib. “But it seemed a shame after so many years of faithful service to the Fatherland insulting the Imperialist oppressors over the border.”

UKIP who won two seats on the European parliament had previously been debating how to get anyone to listen to what they have to say. Initial soundings implied that other members of the parliament wouldn’t be particularly interested in UKIP’s views, particularly, it would seem, because UKIP’s whole point is not wanting to be in the European parliament anyway.

Both problems were solved yesterday however when UKIP purchased the entire battery of four hundred loudspeakers along with the associated amplifiers.

The speakers will be set up along the English coast opposite France, where they will bombard continental Europe with 900 decibel messages explaining UKIP’s view of the European Community.

Mr Kilroy-Silk told BIGfib that though the precise messages have yet to be finalized, probable themes would include “Fuck off Frogs” and “Europe Stinks.”
“We’re debating translating the messages to French,” Mr Kilroy-Silk told BIGfib, “But so far, we haven’t found anyone in UKIP that speaks French.”
He went on, “It probably doesn’t matter though… The frogs all speak English anyway. You just have to shout loud enough.”

See also : Howard says no need for UK to leave Europe


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