Issue 13, Friday January 23rd 2004  
 MONEY
Dean campaign decides to dumb-down speeches to mimic Bush

Following his defeat in Iowa, the Howard Dean Howard Dean election team have decided to modify the candidate’s strategy and specifically his style of speech.

Jane Jowson of the Dean campaign centre told BIGfib, “we’ve been doing some extensive analysis of the progress of this campaign and George Bush is clearly outperforming all of the democrat candidates in terms of the effect his speeches are having on ordinary Americans.

Changes planned to Dean’s speeches are thought to include Bush tactics of cutesy stupidity (I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe, I believe what I believe is right), outright lying about future policy intention (no child will be left behind), and adorable child-like mispronunciation of standard words such as nuclear (nucular) and Iraq (Eye-Rack).


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