Special "Burning Bush" Issue, Monday November 24th 2003
Middle East officially renamed Terror By Justine Doody In light of the latest resistance to the American occupation in Iraq, George W. Bush has taken steps to deal with criticism of his administration’s decision to invade Iraq instead of continuing the search for Osama Bin Laden and those who perpetrated the attacks of 9/11. By Presidential Decree, the entire Middle East with the exception of Israel will in future be designated “Terror” and those originating in the region will be known as “Terrorists”. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld told the press:
“People who said we forgot about the War on Terror can now see that it was always first thing on our minds. And besides, things are much tidier this way – you know before we had to use all these phrases like ‘the Muslim world’, ‘the Arab community’, ‘suspected members of Al-Qaeda’, now they’re all just Terrorists.”
The Bush administration has interpreted the universal condemnation of the US decision by Terrorist leaders as signifying an escalation of the Terrorist threat; the US Department of Homeland Security has increased the Terror alert to Rabbit in Headlights and Congress has approved a further $87 billion to fight the War on Terror ™.
The UN is currently deadlocked over a French draft resolution on the US decision, which proposes sending the US a “strongly worded letter”.
