Nancy Pelosi Promises New Era Of Bipartisanship
By Lolo Laroche in Washington DC
Nancy Pelosi, a liberal congresswoman from California, yesterday became the highest-ranking woman in the history of the U.S. government.
Wrestling the gavel from John Boehner's steely grip, Nancy Pelosi yesterday promised to work in a fair and Bipartisan way with the Republican president George W. Bush in order to undo as many of his fuckups as possible as fast as humanly possible.
"The Republicans have fucked up in Iraq," Pelosi told assembled house members, "They have fucked up the economy, and they have fucked up America. Today, the Democrat party assumes the challenge of working with the Republicans in a Bipartisan way to correct those fuckups, and we don't have 100 years, or 100 days to do so. The fuckups need to stop in the first 100 hours."
John Boehner, the exiting Republican speaker, also recognized the historic nature of the occasion, and sounded the same theme of bipartisanship.
"Today, the Democrat party assumes the challenge and opportunity of majority power in the people's house," he said. "Republicans will work, just as hard as the incoming Democrats, in the same Bipartisan manner to make sure that the Democrats are able to change absolutely nothing - and I guarantee that. We will not let them end the war in Iraq, reduce the deficit, or help the poor. Of these things let all Americans be reassured."
Asked about the new Bipartisan nature of the government, George W. Bush told CNN, "If these Bishexuals are gonna have a party, they are gonna need to be discreet - The Foley scandal showed that folks don't want the Whitehouse being used for gay-sex parties, and I don't think ordinary folks are gonna want congress being used for Bi-Parties either."p!"
And people claim gay marriage is unnatural and disgusting and not what God intended?! There is NOTHING God intended less than for twelve men and women to grab wads of cow brain and stuff it into their pie holes as fast as possible despite their bodies telling them that their stomachs are stretched to the breaking point. All done so that a "winner" can walk home with a small trophy. If the Lord intended that, then he is a sick, sick man who needs to make sure his apartment is better ventilated next time he decides to paint.
It's grossly unnatural and not what God intended, however I have yet to see an Evangelical declare that Crazy Legs Cianti (spaghetti eating champion of the world) will be struck down by the Almighty if he tries to break the long-standing cannoli record (43 in ten minutes).
